Phony compliments don’t help build a child’s self-esteem. The fact is that they undermine a child’s confidence.
Children see through people who are not honest. The message that you give with insincere praise is that you can’t find anything to really praise. When that happens, it tells a child that he or she does not deserve real approval.
The secret is to be sincere and find something that you really can praise. Even if it isn’t something huge, remember that small things will be stepping stones toward a child’s improved self worth.
It’s so important to let children understand that failure is okay. Failure and mistakes are crucial for success to become a reality. Children need their parents to believe in their abilities, to be proud of their efforts and teach them how to learn from the negative events in their lives.
Photo: crdotx
Today, I heard a young man say, “High school sucks for anyone who is the least bit different.” Speaking from experience with children of all ages who have many differences, I know that his statement is accurate.
I’d like to offer a few suggestions if your child falls into the “least bit different category.”
- Is your child included at parties?
- Does your child have friends?
- Is your child involved in extracurricular activities?
Empathize
- Let your child see that you feel his or her pain.
- Let your child see that you may have had similar experiences.
Do Something
- Help your child gain self-esteem.
- Help your child find something that he or she enjoys and does well.
- Help your child gain pride in successfully accomplishing something.
Listen
- Make sure you listen to the happenings of his or her day.
- Listen to what your child says and to what he or she does not say.
As a parent, you are responsible for helping your child deal with being “a bit different.”
Here is an example. All of the boys play football. Your child wasn’t selected to be on the team. Find a sport that will help him feel better about his abilities. Maybe you could take him to learn rock climbing, boxing or Karate. It can be anything that helps him to feel like part of the group, even if it means taking part in a sport that is out of the ordinary.
Photo: prayitno
Parents, if your child is being bullied because of his or her weight, there are a few things you can do to make the situation better.
Bullies usually pick on kids with low self-esteem. It is your job to help your child gain more self-esteem. Find things that your child does well and give honest and sincere positive reinforcement.
Next, help your child lose weight. Childhood obesity has escalated in recent years. Now overweight children are suffering with health issues that used to be designated to adults. They often have symptoms of Type II Diabetes and hypertension.
So for the sake of their health and for the sake of their happiness, help them drop some pounds. One of the most successful ways to do this is to lose weight yourself. As difficult as it may be to think about, your loss of weight will trigger weight loss in your children. Look at the statistics. You play a huge role.
Photo: Tobyotter
